Surgery, Pink Socks, and a Shot of Whiskey...

The morning of surgery was uneventful. My surgery was scheduled for noon, but I had to arrive by 8:00 for the pre-op testing. First, I was injected with a radioactive dye that would help the surgeons identify my lymph nodes. Then, I had to lay under a scanning machine for an hour to allow the dye time to disperse. Once it was determined that the dye was working, I was sent upstairs to the tiny little room where I would stay until surgery.

The nurse handed me a hospital gown and the most awful slippers I had ever seen. I obediently changed into the gown, but couldn't bring myself to wear the slippers. Someone had given me pink fuzzy socks the day before and I was determined to wear them for as long as possible. Every time the nurse would come in to check on me, I would hide my feet under the blanket.

It was finally time! The anesthesiologist came in to give me my first dose of anesthesia at 1:00. He had a great sense of humor and made a joke about the injection being the same as drinking a glass of wine. Well, as far as I was concerned at that point, the joke was on him because I had a secret......I was still wearing my pink fuzzy socks!

I was a little overwhelmed when I was wheeled into the operating room because there were at least twenty people in the room. A wonderful young resident named “Emily” had taken the time to introduce herself to me while I was in the tiny pre-op room and it was reassuring to see her smiling face in the crowd.

More jokes from the anesthesiologist about the “glass of wine” and he compared the next dose of anesthesia to a shot of whiskey. The last thing I remember saying aloud was something about being "a cheap date once the whiskey starts flowing” ….and the last thing that I remember thinking was “ha ha, I'm still wearing my pink fuzzy socks!”

Rich settled into the waiting room for what he thought was going to be a 3-4 hour surgery. He had brought along some movies to watch on his laptop, a book to read, and there was a Starbucks in the waiting room – what more could he need? There was a display screen in the room where he could track my progress using the patient ID number that I had been assigned earlier that morning. Seven hours later there were only two of us still in surgery. By the time one of the surgeons finally came out to tell him it was over, 7 ½ hours had passed. Everything had gone well, it had just taken longer than anyone had anticipated. I briefly woke up in recovery at 8:30, but was quickly given a dose of morphine and drifted back into my whiskey-induced sleep.

I woke up at midnight and the only thing that I could think was how badly I needed to go to the bathroom. I was still a bit wobbly from the anesthesia so Rich & the nurse had to help me walk down the hall. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my urine was bright blue!!! Remember the dye that I had been given earlier in the day? Nobody mentioned to me that the dye was blue...bright blue! It was quite alarming – even in my morphine haze.

The night passed quickly and before I knew it, it was 8:30 in the morning and Rich was wheeling me out of the room towards the car....and I was still wearing my pink fuzzy socks.   A quick stop at the pharmacy to pick up some pain meds and we were home by 10:30. I remember thinking.....did all of this really just happen?

I stayed on the pain meds until Monday morning, but they were making me nauseous, so I switched to Aleve and Tylenol for the rest of the week. I was surprised at how well I was feeling and was able to return to work after just a week. (an advantage of telecommuting) My family and I were blessed by many friends who provided meals, some came over to keep me company when Rich went back to work, and some even came to take me out for a drive when I started to go a little stir-crazy.   Thank you all for your encouragement, prayers, and support. I have been blessed beyond belief by the outpouring of kindness!

My first follow-up appointment with the surgeons went well and the pathology report came back with no surprises. The total mass of the two tumors measured 3cm. Twenty-four of my lymph nodes were removed, but only THREE of them had cancer cells in them. (Praise!) The surgical oncologist said that she could tell that the lymph nodes have been responding to treatment.   The majority of my recovery from surgery will take about three months, but I'll see the surgeons regularly for at least a year.

At Hershey Med, they hold inter-disciplinary meetings each month where all of the surgeons, doctors, oncologists, and radiologists review their cancer cases together. My case has been reviewed twice since July and will be reviewed again sometime in the upcoming weeks. As a team, they will determine if it's best that I continue with my current treatment plan or if I would benefit from Radiation treatment. In the meantime, I'll continue with the hormone therapy and the monthly bone treatment infusions. It's so reassuring to know that the entire team is reviewing my case and making a joint recommendation for treatment.

So.......what's the next step?  I have a PET scan this Friday at 7:15 am. The first scan showed significant improvement and I am very hopeful that this next scan shows even more.   Hmmmmm....maybe I'll wear my pink fuzzy socks?

Fearfully and wonderfully made...

The day before surgery was very busy – tying up loose ends at work, last minute house cleaning & laundry, grocery shopping, and a myriad of other little tasks that I was compelled to cross off my “to do” list. (For those of you who know me well, you know how much I rely on my “to do” list.)

By mid-evening, I had everything in order and it was time to relax. Relax? Are you kidding me? As soon as I sat down, my mind started racing into overload mode with every “what-if” situation I could conjure up. I tried reading, but couldn't concentrate. I tried watching TV, but even that couldn't distract me from my own thoughts. I opened my Bible in search of something, but I didn't know what. I went to the usual passages about strength & courage, but they didn't bring the contentment that they usually did. While randomly flipping through the pages, I stumbled across a passage that I had marked. I don't remember when I had underlined the verses in Psalm 139, but that night the blue markings of my pen caught my attention.

“O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.”

~Psalm 139

That was it! “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” I have heard this verse hundreds of times, but it had never meant as much to me as it did that night. I felt that this verse was penned specifically for me! John Piper wrote “If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design.” This was the verse that I needed to calm my thoughts. I slept surprisingly well and woke ready to face the day. Amazing!