It's been a while since I've posted and I have to admit that it's been a struggle to find the right words to describe what I've been feeling lately. I've had so many thoughts bouncing around in my head that there are days where I don't know which end is up. Honestly, I find myself completely overwhelmed most days.
Work is incredibly busy, but I thank God every day that I have a job that has such good health insurance benefits. The boys are in Kindergarten and Second Grade and I enjoy spending time volunteering in the their classrooms each month. They're also very active in Taekwondo and are competing in their first tournament next weekend. (wish us luck!) On top of my normal activities, I've been spending more time than usual at Hershey Medical Center for doctor appointments. Any free time that I may stumble upon is usually spent pouring over the many books that I've accumulated on cancer.
I've read and re-read the radiologist's report from last month's PET scan and am still amazed:
- “the lungs are clear”
- head and neck show “no suspicious activity”
- “no lesions in the liver or spleen”
- “no suspicious activity within the pelvis”
What a difference 3 months can make!!
I've undergone genetic testing to determine if I carry the abnormality that would have made me more prone to developing not just one type of breast cancer, but two. The results came back that I'm normal! (well, at least genetically speaking.) As Jack Nicklaus said, “You can spend all day trying to figure out why you hit your ball into the woods – or you can just go in and get it out.”
So, that's what I'm doing.....focusing my efforts on what I can to to “get it out” and keep this awful disease at bay. I've learned that high-fat, low-fiber foods increase the hormones (such as estrogen) that promote cancer. Since my cancer is 100% estrogen receptive, this is very important. I've learned how to boost my immune system by eating (and avoiding) certain foods. I've also learned what a toll stress can take on my body.
I spent two months pouring over information about diet and nutrition. I read everything I could get my hands on about saturated fats, carbohydrates, organic vegetables, raw milk, Vitamin D, the list goes on-and on. I even attended a lecture given by Paul Nison, a raw food chef and author.
A few weeks ago, I met with a holistic doctor, Dr. Neely, who helped make sense of the seemingly endless supply of information about nutrition. In addition to being in holistic medicine, Dr. Neely is also an oncologist. The perfect combination of expertise for my situation! Dr. Neely helped me begin to fine-tune my approach to my cancer. He explained detoxification, an anti-inflammatory diet, and some strategies to increase the effectiveness of treatment. I'm looking forward to meeting with him again.
I also met with a surgical oncologist, Dr. Kass, the same week as Dr. Neely. Talk about being overloaded with information!! I was originally scheduled for a mastectomy in August. When it was determined that my cancer was as wide-spread as it was, I was no longer a surgical candidate and our focus turned to simply stopping the cancer from spreading. I've had such a positive response to treatment, that my medical team believes that I am ready for surgery! That's such good news!!
Dr. Kass ordered an MRI before finalizing her recommendation about surgery and the results were excellent! Both tumors in my breast are smaller and my lymph nodes appear normal! (my lymph nodes were abnormal 3 months ago.) I've decided, on the advice of my medical team, to undergo a mastectomy in January. The next three weeks will be very busy as I meet with the anesthesiologist, a plastic surgeon to discuss options for reconstruction, my oncologist, and have my regular monthly treatment. If you've been counting, that's nine appointments in 7 weeks. I'm praying that the Lord will give me the strength to get through all of these appointments while being so busy at work and also trying to get ready for Christmas.
I don't want to try to change God's mind,
I want to think his thoughts.
I don't what to change God's timing,
I want the grace to accept his timing.
I don't want to change God's plan,
I want to embrace his plan and see how he is glorified through it.
(Holding on to Hope, Nancy Guthrie)
